This goontober we're counting down our top 10 goon moments of 2042
10. Fucking a Walrus! No one said it would be easy but us gooners sure know how to tame a beast
9. Dairy Farm! 95% percent of the United States of Geekbar is desert thanks to these fucking cows, lets get back at them by fucking them. Only now will you find special hidden cum blasts in your favorite Shamfuck Farms Cow Milk for Humans, buy it now so you wont regret later
8. Human Trafficking! Before 2/3 of Porn was Hed to Human trafficking, in 2042 we bumped those numbers up all the way now you can consume porn knowing these peoples lives are complete torment!
7. Asbestos Bukkake Bomb! W!
6. Elon Musk Ai Goon Montage! Our fearless leader, founder of the ONLY and BEST political party, ELON MUSK, shoves 80 pencils inside his penis. You cannot not look away at him as he stuffs each pencil inside, each one more painful than the last in tribute to Jesus Christ dying for our sins.
5. Everyone is Starving! Starving for CUM I'd say, Haha! Yes people all around the world are starving because there is no food except the rotting poultry scraps inside JEFF BEZOS FARM FRESH MEGA FARM which impregnates and uIerly (Get it?) destroys 2,000,000 Cows, chickens, and pigs per day! MEGA FARM can aid in fake cum biology. This will greatly benefit gooners because now only 87% of males around the world are able to produce semen based on redacted scientific research linking microplastics with the distribution of ejaculation. Our fearless leader ELON MUSK signed the science bill in 2033 destroying all scientific research and data in the western hemisphere and within MEGA ISREAL, and we are happier as people because of this bill!
4. Church of Scientology Goon Flix! Ever wanted your favorite scientology characters to fuck? Well now you can with AI powered Scientology goon Flix. Many gooners enjoy the hypnotic scientology brainwashing Goon flix entails. Try Goon Flix today for half off at www.goonerwebhighway.com
3. Carls Jr. Fornuck Mew Pack! What screams gooner like Carls Jr. in the NEW Fortnite fornuck summer pack you can dress up as Hardys himself with a complete Hard on, buy the back bling alongside Hard Hardy and engage in edge maxing as you mew your way to a victory royale.
2. Incest legalized! After decades of asking for incest to be legal our fearless leader ELON MUSK passed the incest bill of 2042 allowing the entire family to goon and geek happily together!
1. Wooly Mammoth! We did it! The Wooly Mammoth is back and is set to arrive at JEFF BEZOS FARM FRESH MEGA FACTORY FARM this Gooncember, expect to see Wooly Mammoth meat and milk in stores by 2043!
Thats all for now gooners, remember to Geek, Goon, and consume!
